disclaimer

To clear any confusion I would like to point out that not all of my posts are auto-biographical thoughts [and feelings]. Most are just writings and musings; others are photos and almost everything has been unpacked from the box.
I have never conciously launched a meal at a chinese lady, or a lady of any ethnicity, for that matter.
Although I should add that if a reinvigorated Mao Zedong happens to cross my path, I would be tempted to thrown an egg mcmuffin at him.

Old Chinese Lady

As tuesday mornings usually dictated, I approach the cross section of Commercial and 10th at 11:28am almost to the dot.
Accompanied by my regular purchase of two sausage rolls and and one single roll of toilet paper (double quilted - no dimples), I continue to munch on my weekly Vietnamese Coconut Bun like the habitual creature that I am.

Approaching the same crosswalk, an elderly Chinese woman shuffles across.
She's hunched over slightly, bearing a "Sav-On" plastic carrier bag full of empty recyclable bottles. As I advance towards her side, she nervously begins to punch the crosswalk button; jittery jabs promptly advance head-on into a cascade of metacarpal fury unleashed upon the poor, inanimate crosswalk button.
"My goodness." I remember thinking.
"If the light doesn't change soon, she might draw blood."

Still green.

There is no let up in Old Chinese lady's light-changing doctrine. I am also aware that I have become mildly irritated by this exercise in futility. "Has she left the oven on?!" I ruminate.
"Perhaps a bad case of diarrhea?"
Even quasi-humurous mental images of Oldlady Diiarrhea fail to allieviate the awkward and inappropriate pedestrian-tension that has been built up.

Pedestrian-tension will only ever remain an awkward emotion; it commonly manifests itself in some sort of tourist-meets-frustrated-resident incident, usually in a large metropolitan city.
After what seems like an eternity, the light changes from green, to amber, to red.

Old Chinese lady carefully shuffles from the curb onto the crosswalk, and proceeds to saunter across the road and down the street as if a sun starved Scandanavian were out soaking in the first day of summer.

In that moment, I recall my deep, intense regret. I wished I hadn't.

I wished I hadn't thrown my sausage rolls at her.

weary

"I am weary."

deepfried bravado

Complete instructions and details on our testosterone-fuelled deepfried-debauchery is now available here.

Good Friday

My Father, My Cradle, My Glorious.
My Friend.
Thank You.

Maundy Thursday

Tomorrow is Good Friday.
Which I suppose makes today Maundy Thursday. I just found out for the first time what that means.
Apparently, Maundy is derived from the word "Mandatum" - or mandate - which Jesus gave us to love one another.
Traditionally in England, the reiging monarch would wash the feet of the poor on Maundy Thursday. They stopped doing that in the 18th century, although I'm not sure why.

pt II

pt I

nk prayer

21 days of breathrough have begun.

epiphanc at the lamplighter

Recovering from a cold.
Screaming headache right now.
As for the gig, I believe it went well. At one point I noticed Brian was playing his guitar with a drum cymbal, and Tim was standing on his drumkit.
I broke the heaviest string on my guitar halfway through the set.
Lost all the tension on the bridge and spent half a song retuning the guitar and tring to figure out how to play the drop D songs on an A string.
We left the Lamplighter after 2am, to drop our gear off.
So what do you do after a great gig at 3am? That's right, go for Chinese food. And drag your smelly rotten tired corpse to bed.
Oh, and how can I forget Nick our wonderful stage prop? When was the last time you saw a band that had a man dressed in a 70s disco suit reading a newspaper oblivious to the chaos surrounding him?

heh, heh

Been gone for a while. Thought I'd come back with something stupid.
I've been fortunate enough to have travelled all East Asian countries, and have encountered my fair share of "engrish".
Of all them, South Korea certainly commanded the most accurate of English translations, although the packaging above is has gained something extra in comedic value.