outrageous claims

Every so often I am asked to provide a small bio of myself to accompany an article that I have written.
I have decided to standardise it, and thought it was worth posting here incase there was something you didn't know about me.

On occasion, I will casually digest the odd carton of freeze dried ferrit milk.
I once single handedly piggybacked Sir Ranulph Twistleton-Fiennes to the centre of the Arctic Circle.
The collapse of Communism in Eastern Europe has been attributed to my rythmic beatbox abilities. I have also been known to melt cheese from a distance with my jaunty walk.
Vicente Fox twice dropped my name at a recent International Free Trade Accord; two times I have refused lucrative advertising contracts for feminine hygiene products.
Laotian Cabinet Minister Panhkham Viphavanh maintains a tidy shrine in my honour by his bedside table.
Last tuesday I discovered the missing twenty seventh letter of the alphabet; thursday mornings I msn with Stephen Hawking in order to pick holes in his theory of relativity.
I am a raving extrovert in denial.
At 12 I brokered my first collective bargaining agreement; by 14 I was negotiating the release of Burmese political prisoners.
Last year I submitted an improved recipe for cornflakes to the Kellogs conglomerate - the CEO inquired into adopting me into his family; Magenta is my second to least favourite colour.

anniversary post

This blog is now officially one year old.
Maybe I should post something on that.
Happy birthday Larph.

clarity on levity

Ummm, I just wanted to clarify that my previous post was in no way an american-bashing post, rather a sad but apt example that propaganda/brain washing/biased journalism doesn't stop at the Iranian/North Korean/whoever-is-on-the-axis-of-evil's borders.
Have you seen Fox News?
It goes East AND West.
That said, I gather my post was picked up by a popular Danish site and I can't read or understand Danish... but we'll leave it at that.
Just to clarify.

a further moment of levity

Just to show that propaganda goes both ways; I think this is taken from an Aussie TV show.

under our belts

Well, we finally have our first gig tucked safely under our belts after "storming" The Media Club at 12:30am on a tuesday morning.
We were preceeded by some amazing musicians, there was this one trio of boys - couldn't have been older than 15 or 16 - absolutely brilliant musicians.

We made some good contacts for future shows and survived the general public so you can't ask for more than that, really.

and now, a moment of levity

stop press

Epiphanic will be rocking The Media Club downtown monday night for the first time.
It's just 3 songs, but you gotta start somewhere eh?

larph one another

I've been helping to host a youth group for the past week here in Vancouver for some urban outreach exposure.
They're all originally from themiddleofnowhere Saskatchewan, and so far seem to be wonderfully friendly people.

As part of their exposure, we send them to help in various drop-ins and also take them to a variety of ethnic restaurants.
We already had them do Indian and Ethiopian (both using only their hands to eat), and lunchtime today the lucky blighters had Ryan and myself whisk them off for Korean/Japanese.

So we turn up at the restaurant.
Ryan: "Hi there, we have a reservation for 11:30 under Ralph.:
Rest: "Wrath? No... no Wrath."
Ryan: "Yeah, should be in there... Ralph."
Rest: "Not here. Not here..."
Ryan: "No Ralph? R-A-L-P-H?"
Rest: "Oh! Larph! Come in!"
Ryan: "Yes! Larph! Larph! Larph!"

Other amusing moments included them tackle sushi for the first time. And man did the leader get a taste for wasabi.
I thought for sure that I'd see someone pass out under the influence of wasabi. Didn't happen, unfortunately.

orwellian

"Look Behind You."

Sensing the urge to indulge in a healthy serving of paranoia; currently on the lookout for a cheap copy of "1984".

pr people

Read a good quote on the net today:
"I'm a Christian; I love God and I love His sense of humour, although His PR people need to raise their game."

a sobering story

I've been following the story of Charles Jenkins for a couple of years now; he describes how wandering across the DMZ into N Korea in 1964 was "the stupidest thing I've ever done".

A semi-happy ending is playing itself out, but what a mistake for anyone to make.

the two koreas

A collection of images I took last year in mainly korea and vancouver; kodak and fuji 100.
Korea

underground

Some guy changed all of the stations on the London Underground to match specific artists that correspond with different genres in place of the tube lines.
I grew up at "New Order" station.

what famous leader am i most like?

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Yes it does look contrived, but I did it twice, so stick it.

i am platoon

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Not a complete compliment.

acdpu

It's been a busy few days.

Last night I was at a bit of a posh do downtown.
Hosted by the ACDPU (Vancouver chapter of the Advisory Clinic for Democratic and Peaceful Unification of Korea) and attended by none other than Korea's Consort General/Ambassador, Minister Colin Hansen, Professor Stephen Lee and yours truly (invite graciously wrangled at the last minute).

After the pretty but not plentiful grub, Professor Lee gave a great talk on the history of Canada/Korean relations, and BC 2010 Olymics head honcho Colin Hansen waxed lyrical with the obligatory presidential smile.

All in all, an intuiging if slightly uneventful event lifted by the opportunity to connect with likeminded people (I might have a couple of article writing opportunities) and new friends made in different circles.

Unification - how not if?

the clouds hover unabated

arrow arrow arrow

further collision

Interesting times we live in.
With this whole cartoon debacle, I reckon we are heading towards a 3 way collision involving Islamisists, European Atheism and traditional American Evangelicalism.

Interestingly, both the UK and the US have chosen to camp on the verge of the high ground and criticise the European publication.
Europeans have defended the action by labeling it a freedom of speech issue; Muslims have condemned it as demonising their beliefs.

I fear that if public image is what muslims are really concerned about, then surely protests condoning the extermination of the publishers in places like London is cause for concern.
And that's before you introduce the apparent double standard of anti semitism published regularly in arabic press.

Considering the original outburst against Denmark, it was at best a silly idea to go ahead and republish across mainland Europe.
In many respects, the violent reactions are plainly consolidating the average European perspective of religion as a superstition that aids to induce both irrational and aggressive behaivour.

Europeans will probably only continue to reject doctrine, thought and policy employed both to it's Eastern and Western neighbours which will only serve to further agitate many in our newly "globalised" environment.

[religion] [cartoon protests]

my desktop wallpaper

It's ironic, because I use a mac.

sit down. stand up.

Recent combat images.
Music by Radiohead.
Interesting fact: did you know that Saddam Hussein was rewarded the key to the city of Detroit in 1980 after a donation to a local church?
No doubt George has since changed the locks on that one.