Larph

kthxbye - the final post

2008-01-19T21:31:00.000Z

Heelloooo!
Long time no speak.
I'm not going to fill you in; too much has happened and not a great deal that I want to broadcast in such a public way.
Suffice to say, as the title of this post explains, it is the last of it's kind.

'this blog thing...'
I started this blog thing three years ago, and funnily enough this is the 300th post.
I'm not going to bury this thing immediately - I have nothing to hide and I'm quite fond of all the areas of my life it has chronicled over the last few years. There are plenty of painful memories attatched within however, and at some point I will remove it and probably archive it in a different location.

'... I've started a new fun little project.
Over the last year, I began to realise that although I enjoyed my forays in to the world of the blogosphere, I was never really a 'blogger' in the classic sense.
I found the moments that I had something of interest or profoundity to contribute slowly became fewer and further between, whilst at the same time I have been active in various other web2.0 social networks which seemed to serve the various purposes of communication in a far more efficient fashion.

That's why I threw up http://ralphventon.co.uk

I have set it up to aggregate all of my portable data and web based activity.
So when I digg a story on Trampolining Circus Dwarves with Laser Beams for Nipples, or tag the new 'Zodiac 2050 Vegetable Steamer 9in' in my del.icio.us archive - you know about it!
And I don't have to come to blogger and think of a reason to blog about it.
It'll also grab facebook, twitter, flickr, osf, youtube and other stuffs using the magics of teh internets!!11 so you can TOTALLY STALK ME!!1 how awsum?!!1

And if that wasn't enough, I'll also post the odd personal post and let you all know what exactly is going on with me.
All in all, I think for me at least, it is a better fit.

"I wanted to say something.'
I also wanted to express my thanks to all of the supportive messages and wonderful support people have selflessly provided over the last couple of months. Words cannot express. Mostly I've felt challenged to open up and reach out. If you have skype, facebook or whatever - add me (ralph_venton). Let's talk.

Lastly and most importantly, God is good.
He has been to me everything He has promised - and so much more. 'A better day will come', and possibly has even arrived.

Peace.

dear canada

2007-07-01T19:04:00.000Z

dear canada

just wanted to drop a quick line to wish you a happy canada day.
i'm sorry i can't be there with you to celebrate your special day this year, although you should know that i really, really wish i was.

i hope to be back one day, perhaps i will bring audge too. (she sends her regards).
until then, i toast to the one-and-only, much loved, much missed, great and glorious nation of canada.

cheers.

a new post

2007-06-28T21:18:00.000Z

Well, it's been a long time since I last posted.
Truth be told, life has been busy.
I wasn't sure what to insert into this very public white space, but I felt like I probably should put something here.
So I have decided to do a little guide of some of the places I've been recently, for those of you not familiar with London, all with the aid of some fantastic photographers off of flickr.

My trip to work everyday takes around 30mins; I get off at Canary Wharf tube station.

If I'm working early or on a close, I'll make time to get to my gym in West India Quay - it's a 7 minute walk from where I work and you cross a floating bridge on the docks to get there.

The gym is next door to a Cineworld. I have a good friend that's a real film buff, so I've ended up in Cineworld more times than I'd care to admit.

I've been playing a lot of tennis recently, mainly in New Cross in South London.

It's a great community, mainly afro-carribean - I'd never been there before until recently as I hardly ever go south of the river.
New Cross is also home to the only African-Japanese restaurant I've heard of.

Last week I went to see a new exhibition at the Tate Modern.

Urbanism - a fantastic artistic look into the growth of urbanism and urban culture around the world. I'll probably go back for another look before long.

Most of all, my mind has been full of the "what nexts'?" You know, the usual pre-marital thoughts and ponderances.
I'm quite excited for Audge to come and visit, although nervous at the same time... what if she doesn't like it? Will she enjoy herself here? Will she feel relaxed? Settle in?

The first few days back from Japan were really hard, although I have grown accustomed to the long periods of separation; one day they will end.
Until then, I wait.

bruv

2007-05-07T22:12:00.000Z

a cut above

2007-05-05T22:30:00.000Z

Apart from a trip to the cakeshop, one of my most favourite things to do when visiting a new country is to visit the hairdressers.
Getting one's noggin worked on in a strange environment is surely one of the easiest and most rewarding ways to interact in a new environment.

In Thailand, my scalp was caressed and massaged whilst my coiffure was whipped and sculpted into a frightful exposition of grandiose proportions.
South Korea was memorable particularly for the pampering and buffeting - administered by three seperate attendants. One girl's job was purely to hold a sponge on my forehead lest a shorn hair stray into my sightline.
I'm not sure exactly what happened in China. It was all a bit of a blur after I passed out on hairspray fumes.

I went to get my haircut here in London yesterday.
Audrey suggested I get it cut "...like David Beckham". I have no idea what David Beckham's hair looks like this week.
When I got to the hairdresser, I asked her to cut it "...like David Beckham. Or something."
I could tell she could barely contain her indifference to my request, and approximately three seconds later she was hacking away (one hand on hip), attacking my pate with her razor in much the same way a small child might torture a dying animal with a pointy stick.

I just checked online.
My hair looks nothing like David Beckham's.

completely unnecessary blog post here

2007-04-27T21:19:00.000Z

No post for ages, incredibly busy etc etc...

The weather for the last month has been outrageously splendid.
Last weekend I found myself out and just kept walking... Oxford Circus, Holborn, Strand, City, Blackfriars, Bankside, Southwark, London Bridge, Upper Thames Street, Lower Thames Street, Monument, Aldagate... just kept going.
It's the simple things that keep surprising me.

I also spoiled myself last week with a new toy, which I will be taking with me on holiday this year. I can't wait!
*apologies for completely unispired and undetailed blog post.

More chin stroking intarnet geekery

2007-04-01T10:56:00.000Z

Whilst the thought of another Meyers-Briggs test inspires as much excitement within me as an invitation to have my toes steamrolled by a large man in laderhosen yodelling the Namibian Anthem off-key, I did for some reason decide to take this test.

I actually found it to be quite accurate and somewhat helpful. *strokes chin in thoughtful and artistic manner*

It also gives you a neat looking square full of colours which represent something (not sure what yet) to purposely advertise your self-prescribed characteristics all over the intarnets OMG!!1

What's that? Can I hear the languid, fetal yelps of someone being "placed in a box"?!! *whimpers softly*

WARNING. POST CONTAINS GRAPHIC IMAGERY.

2007-03-18T10:46:00.000Z

Lower left six.
Lower left six is no more.

After a failed root canal, years of irritation, months of aggravation, weeks of pain and a few sleepless nights lower left six is gone.Dr Levy successfully removed lower left six last thursday. I don't want to go into too much detail but it wasn't completely straightforward. The procedure involved injections, drilling, "shattering", twisting, extracting and stitching. Lots of "ings" are required for this sort of procedure.
I hope to receive a fetching "replacement" at somepoint in the near future.
Audrey is mad at me because apparently teeth are "...important to her"!
I recommend listening to "The Eraser" by Thom Yorke whilst reading this post.

Also, did you catch Tony Blair doing "Am I really bovvered, tho'?!" on Comic Relief the other night?!!

more on the world

2007-03-06T09:05:00.000Z

I find this stuff fascinating.
This is taken from research that redefines a country proportionately according to it's strengths and weaknesses (in different categories).
(From a Daily Mail article).

Alcohol Consumption

HIV Prevalence

House Prices

Military Spending

War and Death

Toy Imports

Toy Exports

Wealth of Nations (1500)

Wealth of Nations (2002)

brother on brother brutality

2007-03-04T11:48:00.000Z

This post is certified drivel of the highest order - it's main component superficially comprising of... me! Or rather, my fetching new shirt. (As you can tell from the myspace-ified photo above).

For those of you that were born an elder sibling and thus for the majority of your lives enjoyed superior physical prowess and dominance in the household food chain, let it be known that this position does not last forever.
For instance, in an effort to re-exert alpha male territory at my parents' place last weekend (due mainly to the diminishing supplies of dr pepper - chief culprit being my bruv), I attempted to lay down a little brother-on-brother brutality.
Except things didn't go according to plan, or at least how they used to... six years ago.

In the end, we ended up grappling towards a stalemate, before *bosh*!
*bosh*! is the sound a smoshy nose creates when it makes contact with a pointy appendage at a high speed.
He bled on my shirt.
My new shirt!!
And then attempted to throw me down the stairs.
I love playfights though, hadn't had a good one in ages even if I did lose and get my new shirt bled on.
Rarrrghhhh, my new shirt has blood on it!!
Beeennnnnddddddd!!!!!!

some of the amazing people i work with...

2007-02-26T20:26:00.000Z

Pictures courtesy of Louis from Vancouver, who believe it or not also used to live on The Drive. Small world!

Our 2 year Anniversary.

2007-02-22T18:23:00.000Z

When i first signed up for this Blogger thing, I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to do with it.
Everything was new and exciting - I had barely heard of "html" or "css", and I have to admit I was smitten with my lovely blank digital workbook.

You know what it's like when you're with that new blog platform? You're loving the feeling, wanting to spend more time with them - even thinking about what you're going to say next time you see them.
Those are some tell-tale signs.
You're in Kim Chi Stew territory, right there.

But before too long, far away in a different land I found myself on lockdown, away from the modcons and conveniences that The Internets provided.
And ashamed as I am to admit it it, I acted like a rabidly emotional schoolgirl. I forgot about blogger.
Blogger was no longer on my mind.
We were already in deep Marmite, and we both knew it.

I'm not proud of the what happened, God knows I would have changed things if I could have... but that all happened in the past, and after a few months Blogger and myself were reunited.
Wow! Buzzing with excitement, we hit an all time high - blogger and me are 100% Lamb Rogan Josh all over each other.
This time, things will be different. We know we're going to make it.
We had our superficial high, we had our depressing low, but we're still together and we're determined to make something of it.

For a while, there's a flurry of posts and activity. Asia is exciting and interesting, and there's no one to talk English to except Blogger!
Yet before too long, we're slipping back from Lamb Rogan Josh high and before we knew it we were Grilling Mackerel...

With nothing much interesting happening in day to day life, I wonder whether I have something interesting to say... or do I?
That's when I resorted to writing absurd stories about old Chinese Ladies and the such.
Yet even ridiculous posts that confused the hell out of my friends could do nothing to brake the impending slide into the Badlands of Blogoshpere known simply as Boiled Cabbage.

During Boiled Cabbage stage, posts are a rare occurence.
Blogger starts to get jealous.
"Is he seeing that Mysapce tart behind my back?!" Blogger wonders silently to itself.
You know what Boiled Cabbage stage is like. We've all been there, and it's not fun.
The less said about Boiled Cabbage stage, the better.

Recently however, Blogger and I have been on the up.
We're totally in that sitting-on-the-couch-all-evening-phase, content to be Grilled Mackerel together.
Things don't always have to be Lamb Rogan Josh in order to enjoy a healthy and fun posting relationship with your digital blogging platform, and we've both come to realise that more than ever, for us Blogging is about leaving a digital trail of rubbish and drivel that hopefully someone somewhere on the otherside of the world will read and not find you to be a complete moron.

the world

2007-02-18T00:36:00.000Z

Icaro Doria's "Meet the World" campaign.

larph - a candid update

2007-02-10T20:52:00.000Z

"You used to post piffle and nonsense here all the time - what happened? I'm scared and confused. Please hold me."
I moved around two months ago from Vancouver to London.
During that timespace I reaquainted myself with my family (not seen for years), moved into a new place, got a job and began working pretty hard.
And by working pretty hard, I mean shooting Nazis up to level 7 on Medal of Honour 2.

"And now you work for ~~The Evil Empire~~ a global coffee conglomerate, no?"
That is correct. My days are now filled with pouring hot soy on to my feet and other appendages to numb the pain of interacting with rude customers and their furious lust for the now-discontinued Signature Toffee Nut Syrup. *wipes frothing foam from side of mouth*

"Where are you living now?"
At the moment I am renting a room in Barking, an area in the East End of London.
Burberry baseball caps are not compulsory.

"You must be earning large amounts of cash considering it is London?!"
They pay me in beans. I am assured they are MAGIC beans.
I have recently purchased a ticket to Tokyo, and my account is emptier than a eunuchs' underpants.
BTW OMFG2Eleven, I AM GOING TO JAPAN!!>!! AW3SOM3!11

"Blimey, Japan is a long way to go if you are going to go somewhere."
Well, between you, me and the internet, I am going to the otherside of the world to hang out with the most wonderful woman in the world.
And for the first time no DTS teams will be involved in this trip. I hope.

"Do you miss Vancouver?"
I miss Vancouver a great deal. But at the same time it is exciting to be in a new place with a new adventure to look forward to.
I have no idea what is going to happen.

"Hey, how come you don't talk on skype so much? Is it because of that... thing... that thing that happened... you know?"
No, it is not because of that thing.
I am in a very different time zone and working weird shifts mixed with freakish hours in a vain attempt to save some cash. I very much enjoy talking over skype, and at the moment I have mmy symbol set to "offline". However I am lazy and secretive and sometimes cannot be bothered to set it to "away". Please feel free to skype me, you can find my ID by doing a skype search under my real name. Those of you on the internet who do not know my real name are not allowed to skype me. And no, it has nothing to do with that thing, either. We both know the kitten had it coming.

"If you could do anything in life, what would you be doing right now?"
Honestly, right now if I could be doing anything in life I would be at home in a large vibrant city, writing and munching furiously on BBQ flavoured Hula Hoops. Although not necessarily in that order.

"Do you have any other extracurricular activities going on?"
To my shame, I continue to follow the misfortunes of West Ham United.
I have also been working on a new website which will hopefully provide an exhaustive list of information/weblinks relating to North Korea. It will eventually come online at northkorearesources.com when I can workout how to get PHP to talk to MySQL to talk to MAMF to talk to my webhosts. Watch this space.
Also, I fantasise about running around my local park.

ashbuton grove

2007-02-04T09:04:00.000Z

I've been hanging out with a Canadian, recently.
The other day, we considered visiting the hallowed turf of Upton Park, but access is limited.
So instead, we visited some tin-pot place in North London.
We also visited a couple of pubs and sampled a traditional carvery complete with "yorkshire pudding" and "treacle sponge".

The turf gets blasted with UV overnight inbetween games.

This is where Jens Lehmann hangs out when he's not throwing pizza at Man U playing staff.

Randy struggles hard to contain his enthusiasm at the temple of "Arse".

A river

2007-01-25T09:00:00.000Z

From Артемия Лебедева

With electricity rationed to only portions of the city of an evening, at around 9pm I used to go out and lay on the concrete outside the hotel, counting the satellites that skirted across the deep dark sky.
From my little London window, in my little London living space, I can't see any satellites. I can't even see any stars. Because I live in a corner of this planet that affords it's inhabitans and myself freedoms and wealth alike. We're all quite fortunate to live in places like this. Even if we can't always see the stars.

I am quite aware how contrived this can sound in blog-dom, but honestly, who gives a fig?
I have been swept up and pushed under, a mighty rushing river of grace and life has caught a full hold of me. I can't remember the last time I slept without either a pillow under - or a roof over - my head.
God, I think you're brilliant.

long and lost

2007-01-21T14:12:00.000Z

Hmmn, I don't really have anything particualrly interesting to post into this space, but why break a habit?!
Life at the moment has changed drastically, with alot of commuting between home, work, my parents', downtown, home again etc. The pace of life has sped up, although I can't say I'm disappointed. I think Ive surprised myself even with how comfortable it has been slotting back into the London life, however transient a time that may be for.
It's been interesting reading some of the blogs from back in the 'couve - I'm an outsider looking in, now. But positive vibrations and a thousand Fonzy thumbs-up for the Y Family and all the changes they are currently going through.

Whilst rummaging around in a cupboard at my parents' place, I happened upon a long lost friend.
Amongst other useless wonders: Boxes of VHS and cassette tapes; Courentey Cox poster (x2); Guns N Roses Belt Buckle; Sony Cassette Walkman; Maths Textbooks.

Did this really happen?

2007-01-07T10:44:00.000Z

Did BC Place really colappse because someone decided not to turn the heater on?
Confirmation, please!!
Somewhere in The Lower Mainland, a monster trucks fan is weeping tears of hot pain right now.

My Shameless-End-Of-The-Year-List

2007-01-01T10:25:00.000Z

One of my favourite ways to unwind from a busy day is to nip in the shower, kick back in my sole Ikea purchase (a Poang, whatever that is), and mine the web for an hour. Or maybe more.

Anyways, 2006 was the year of web 2.0, and OMFG Band. Wagon. Jumped. On. I. Did.
I'm always interested in new and creative web thingies, and I thought I would compile a short list of my funnest discoveries for last year. Perhaps they may be of some use to you, perhaps not. Most of all, if you think there might be something I'd be interested in, leave a comment or something.

Firefox
Speed hack
Most useful extensions
I want a Firefox extension to...

Mac
The Best Opensource Mac Software
Pure Mac 10 Ways to Trick out your Mac

Get your Geek on
Default wifi Password List
Test your Bandwidth Speed
Convert any file type to pretty much any file type

InterestingList of paradoxes
NationMaster Stats
Famous Photgraphs

Best Finds of Last Year
Del.icio.us
Digg
Popurls

Games
Arcaplay
FreeWare Games
MouseBreaker

Video
Top Tube
Peekvid
Channel Chooser

Cooking
VideoJug Slowcooker
The Curry House

As promised...

2006-12-29T23:28:00.000Z

East meets West

As promised, the first of many blurred and pixelated images snapped on a telephone to come your way.
I used to work here. Before my years of vancouverism. This is just off of Soho Square in London. The fact that there are four muslim women in burkhas strolling past is more of a coincidence than anything else, although it does paint a cutting image. More poignant than I had meant my quick-snap-of-place-i-used-to-work-at to be.

One of the most exciting things about being back in the east end is the overwhelming accessibilty of great curry. I mean, really good curry.
In honour of a tradition instigated with wade and jo, I celebrated Christmas with such an indulgence - A great Chicken Korma. I have been celebrating since, with Prawn Curry, Chicken Dhosa, Lamb Vindaloo, Chicken Tikka Massala, Chicken Jalfrezi, Chicken Dhansak, Butter Chicken and a bloody amazing Lamb Roganjosh.

My bro at tonight's currying bonanza - this is actually the only picture of him I own where his middle finger is not the focal point of the image

After 3 weeks of exhaustion/laziness, I also finally got the router in yesterday.
Resisting no temptation to remain calm and relaxed, my landlord's ageing peecee received the fullest helping of a distinctly unrefined section of my vernacular.
Eventually after half an hour talking to an ~~indian fellow~~ outsourced ntl helpline employee, the router and the peecee decided to talk nicely and even let the mac join in not too much later.
For the techies, I went with a D-Link DWL-922 which seems to do well with either XP or OSX.

I was about to sit down

2006-12-23T11:05:00.000Z

Well, I was about to sit down and punch in something about how making lattes and such sucks the life out of you, but then work called.
So instead I'm going in to make more lattes and cappuccinos for wealthy businessmen who wouldn't blink at dropping £4 on a cup of coffee. *wipes spitting foam from chin*

After Christmas i'm planning on doing a little revamp around here since we're coming up to two years, and larph will become larph v2.0

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Is it a coincidence?

2006-12-21T12:36:00.000Z

scouser's (those from liverpool) in their natural habitat

Do you think?
Is it conincidence
That the day Rachel comes down from Liverpool
The number plates on my mum's car
GO MISSING.

Is it a conincidence?
Ask yourself.

Christmas Shopping - Rachel, please bring a car stereo or something.

2006-12-15T11:24:00.000Z

So this is the complex that I work in.
My grandad used to work here years before when it was just: "The Docks."
All that has since changed. I'm stuck in one of the many underground malls that are networked under the all of these buildings.
There's a Canada Square in there, as well as a Canada Place and a Canada Water. You just can't have enough Canada in your life when you're in London.

For those interested (and I'm probably talking to Randy and Heidi here), we get a lot of footballers drop by work for their coffee.
Because it's east London, it's mainly my team (West Ham) and Charlton players who live in the Docklands.
Apparently, last week we had Darren Bent, Matty Etherington, Carlos Tevez, Bobby Zamora, Paul Konchesky, Hayden Mullins and James Collins all pop by.
I'm contemplating asking a few inside questions and delivering the juicy nuggets as a "London Correspondant" for a soccer radio show I listened to in Canada.

Life moves at a fast pace these days and the days seems to fly by.
I get my first day off tomorrow, and I'm hanging out with Henri and Rachel who I'm hoping can get her hands on a few cheap hub caps for me and my Christmas shoppinng.

More Larph than a Larphbot on maximum Larph.

2006-12-10T21:50:00.000Z

I've decided that my newfound status as a repatriated expatriate deserves more airtime.
As soon as I can get my arse down to Curry's I'll buy a router and hopefully larph will be a thoroughly up to date blog retaining all of the mundane qualities that no one cared about in the first place.

To bring you up to date, I'm renting a room in the East End in a place called Barking. And - OMGWTF2eleven!!!! - I got a job!!!!
I'll be slinging cappuccinos for certain global conglomerate we all know well (by day). At a place not too far away called Canary Wharf. Only a 25mins commute on the tube. By night... still plotting.
It's great being back in the city. It's bloody expensive here, but there's just a great buzz about the place.

There's been a bit of a perspective realignment, too.
People here don't have much, but they seem quite grateful for it nonetheless.
If I ever felt hard off or sorry for myself, it was probably because I was comparing myself to those who [materially] had more. It's been a crushing reality check, but that's a good thing.
There's so much out there, so much opportunity, new things to do, new things to think about. Shoot me in the head if I ever start thinking like that again.

Oh, the other cool thing was the one specific thing I prayed for before looking for work was that I would be working with 1.) Chinese and 2.)Koreans.
And, of course, I will be.

This will be my first christmas at home since 2000, I think. It's nice to be back. Lastime I saw my brother he was 17. Now he's a bloody beast and could probably kick the shite out of me pretty easily. When I have saved up enough for a fancy telephone that takes pictures I plan to post them here in order to display visually in a very blurred and pixelated manner all of the intrincisities that make up daily life of a cappuccino slave in London.

Later potater.

what happened to the pop bottles?

2006-12-05T10:30:00.000Z

Sorry this update has been a long time in coming; the internets have not yet been so readily available. However, I did make a nifty little e-letter last night.
It's a little broad and obtuse, but I hope to fill in the gaps sometime soon.

As for England, well things are different.
All of the 2l pop bottles are very tall and skinny, now.
The "@" sign on the keyboard is in a totally different location, and almost everyone has a very strange and sinister accent.

Oh, and Dr Pepper tastes like poo for some reason.

Click the image to download the pdf.

more polaroids

2006-11-14T23:28:00.000Z

In a sulk. Again.

2006-11-06T21:05:00.000Z

After losing to The East End's finest, a certain "North London" team predictably throws their toys out the pram. Again.

The faces of N Korea

2006-10-15T17:33:00.000Z

here

anyone free?

2006-10-14T21:21:00.000Z

A small cry for help.

2006-10-11T00:27:00.000Z

Hi.

I've been away.
You probably haven't noticed.
But if you have, you might be quietly demanding some sort of an explanation.

Truth be told, I've been hiding.
Hiding and reading.
Hiding and reading are fast becoming two of my favourite activities at the moment.
A few books I have read recently:
Yesman
Blink
A Year in the Merde

I'm not trying to offer a small helping of vague evidence to back my explanations of absense up; rather this is a small cry for help.

I'm looking for a good read.
Preferably something written by a Christian/Christian themes.
I'd like it to be original, well written and, if I may be a little greedy here- searingly witty.
I'm not sure that this book exists yet.
But if you know of anything that vaguely matches this description, please drop me a line.
And yes, I have tried "Blue Like Jazz." (Didn't enjoy it. Shoot me later.)

2006-10-06T18:11:00.000Z

Spare a thought for Wayne Rooney

2006-09-27T04:06:00.000Z

Sirs-

Spare a thought for our friend ManUre forward Mr. Wayne Rooney.

Not only is Wayne suffering in the eclipse of fellow young starlet Ronaldo's blistering form (having apparently abandoned how own in a spectacularly frightening fashion), he also now appears to be suffering a new facial deformity of severe proportions.

Goodness knows how that ferret crawled onto Wayne's already grisled visage, but it now appears to be deceased and manifestly attatched in a most uncompromising manner.

Surely Wayne cannot be expected to maintain his otherwise usually indifferent form under such strenuous circumstances.

Regards,
Larph from Vancouver
(West Ham United).

Freakonomics

2006-09-21T03:09:00.000Z

All I can say is, this book was good.
Very good, infact.

Georgie Bingham

2006-09-13T16:28:00.000Z

Where does one go from here?

Now that I have impressed Sky News presenter and World Soccer Daily babe Georgie Bingham with my witty riposte, where can I go?
Is life destined to be one gradual decline, never quite matching up to that magical moment on September 12th, 2006?

For the uninitiated: Landycakes.

When was the last time...

2006-09-12T16:49:00.000Z

When was the last time
That you poked your head out of the window
Into the cool evening air
And witnessed you neighbour
Freestyling with a Hula-hoop
As another animatedly poured herself into
Her interpretive flute-solo
Whilst onlookers danced, jigged and girated
As if their lives depended on it.

Mine was last week.

the battle for good.

2006-09-08T00:05:00.000Z

UPDATE:

In response to my last post, the local riff raff (under the guise of pseudonymn exywamer) have been in touch:

"So you wanna be one of those Namby Pamby brittish Comandoes do you?... sipping tea and discussing cricket and shooting people with trick watches. You might occasionally appear on Dr Who in a gravel quarry, but you get killed by someone dressed in tin foil pretty quick...
pathetic...

me I'd rather be an American Commando like in that Arnie Movie... whats it called again...
COMMANDO!

You don't need no stinking trick watch. Just break into a garden shed and use lawn mower blades to wipe out your army of enemies...
The bad guy in Commando was an Aussie and he was almost as tough as Arnie. So I guess us Aussies can be American style Commando's... as long as we're evil.

I think I wanna be an evil Cammando! Can you be my arch nemesis? I've always wanted one."

Well, how about that?
No sooner than I declare my intentions for justice and goodwill, the bad guys are crawling out of the woodwork intent on obliterating humanity and terrorising us with worse grammar.
(For your information exywamer, I have no intention of becoming a: "...brittish commandoe".

My measured response:

"Dear exywamer

Accepting a nemesis is a decision one should never rush into.
It should, however, be conducted in a heartfelt and timely manner, leaving both particpants on an equally satisfied footing.

At first, there were so many questions.
I wanted to wear black. Black with red trim.
Would this conflict with Simon's potential uniforme de choice? or would he have problems with my demand?
Would Simon maintain a posse of henchmen?
If so, would I also be expected to establish and maintain my own posse, or would I get custody of his over the weekends?

However, in coming to my conclusion I have decided to accept you as my nemesis on a full-time basis (rising to arch-nemesis after 3 month trial period has been fulfilled) on the condition that you promise to wear a bright green beret at a dashing and jaunty angle whenever conducting nemesis promotional/gala duties.

Best,

larph."

Exywamer replied almost immediately, his lust for nemesi apparently unquenchable:

"I accept your terms. No need to worry about hench men. I don't touch em myself because I am such a BAD ARSE er I mean ASS. I might ally myself with some South American drug lords, but only if it helps me get revenge on you.

As far as the Green beret goes. I was actually thinking along the same lines anyway. Black with the red trim are your colours.

Here are my terms

WE MUST NEVER DO BATTLE ON HOLY GROUND.
OR WITHIN A 500 METER RADIUS OF ANY TIM HORTONS DONUT FRANCHISE,

this includes Service Stations and shopping malls with Tim Hortons. This pretty much means that the whole province of Nova Scotia is neutral territory.

One question. Am i the bad guy or are you? I'm comfortable being the bad guy. But if you want to alternate, the whole good bad guy thing, them I'm cool with that to. I don't want to assume anything."

I have to admit I was not expecting to do battle for the forces of good so soon - I have barely had enough time to press my trousers, although I did manage to do a few sit-ups lastnight.
Wish me luck, blogosphere.

My Destiny.

2006-08-31T06:05:00.000Z

Today I sat down and bade to be frank with myself.

I determined to throw caution to the wind and fling wide the window of possibilites, extricating and disencumbering myself of any potential hinderances to what potentially could unravel as my future.
My foreordination compromised, I was ready to gallop and frolick like a newborn calf in the field of my destiny.

After a few hours of deep and meaningful thought, I decided that I am going to become a Commando.

Not just any commando, however. Oh no.
A Crack Commando. For Her Majesty's Secret Service. And possibly some freelance stuff with MI6.

The first thing I'll need if I'm to become a Commando is a decent ropes course.
I mean this thing is going to need all of the bells and whistles: climbing frames with the hangy-poles, timber walls, old rubber tyres, zip lines and plenty of those netty things you crawl under.
And of course it'll need to be indoors if I'm to conceal my identity.
If anyone knows where I can get my hands on one of these, please let me know.

Secondly, I'll need a watch.
Specifically a watch that shoots small poisoned darts designed to implode once embeded inside a human skull.
I'll probably need a couple of these infact, as I'm not sure that you can get them waterproofed.

I actually ventured inside "Jeff's Discount Watch Store" today at the mall.
I browsed for a while, but I have to admit I was a little embarassed to enquire after my particularly precise specifications.

I ended up walking out with one of those things where Mickey's arms tell you what time it is.

small. white. fluffy.

2006-08-28T18:04:00.000Z

1st & Nanaimo

2006-08-24T19:03:00.000Z

i cant think of a title for this one.

2006-08-23T00:22:00.001Z

no room for hate in london.

2006-08-13T04:04:00.000Z

London's financial district.

I had the good fortune to grow up and live in one of the most creative, exciting and multicultural cities I've ever been to - London.
Call me biased (I am!) there are millions who would also agree with me.

I have to admit, however, that after seeing the reports and newsflashes on the latest bomb plots in the UK my initial surprise subsided pretty quickly.
Ever since the threat of an Al Qaeda attack in London became reality on July 7th 2005, and with the failed follow up attacks soon after, I imagine the feeling that more would come sooner or later has never really lifted.

What could be frightening is the potential for my London to eventually become a hotbed of fear, panic, loathe and hatred - residing under a continual threat of terror and attack.
(All the arrested were UK citizens, 15 from London's eastend.)
I can't stand the thought of my home turning into this.

To quote a hero, what if the most threatening thing in the world today is not terrorism? What if it's not economic instability, drugs, crime or even the axis of evil?

What if the most threatening thing in the world today is simply a lack of goodness?

Where would we take it?
Where do we go from here?

publishing integrity

2006-08-08T18:56:00.000Z

This image is the front page of of a UK daily called "The Independant" - one of the more lefty papers out there.

As you can see, the entire front page is dominated by a single strong image from the conflict in Lebanon, and is supported by the headline caption: "How can we stand by and allow this to go on?".
It is, off the bat, an emotive and powerful image.

But beneath the surface, is there something more sinister at work here, and how much of the media coverage we swallow daily has been tampered/altered/tailored before it reaches us?

Please read this thoroughly engrossing post from a UK blogger that explores the background to this scene from Qana and questions the integrity of publisers around the world who export imagery that without question, sells papers.

My Prog-rock confession

2006-08-05T03:42:00.000Z

This morning whilst laying listless and fatigued, the strangest memory resurfaced from the dusty depths of my subconscious.

Back in 1997, I am not in the least bit ashamed to admit that I developed more than a passing interest in Prog-rock.
That's not to say that I had fully committed myself to a Rick Wakeman inspired Pink Floydian arcadia, although I had my moments.

Without a doubt, the highlight being Mansun - a Scouser band with bad haircuts, song titles like:"Take it easy, Chicken", and a penchant for reasonably obtuse concept albums.
They did, however, have their moments of brilliance, and I thought I'd present you with the news that I woke up to on the radio April 18th 1997 and perhaps you'll laugh like I did on that morning.

The following video was filmed at Liverpool St Station in London, and contains footage of frenzied capital city commuters, £25,000 in cash and an unhealthily large amount of Prog-rock.

You have been warned.

the lost mac ads

2006-08-01T17:06:00.000Z

Here's a post for all those peecee owners out there who are tired of watching those pompous mac ads that are constantly running on tv (specifically Randy, but he'll never read this haha) - check out the lost mac ads.

It's been a while, hasn't it?

2006-08-01T15:35:00.000Z

Go on, have a game on me.

Purpose Driven Political Tool?

2006-07-31T00:46:00.000Z

Apparently, oft-criticised megachurch pastor Rick Warren (of Purpose Driven fame) has been invited by the N Korean authorities to preach to 15,000 koreans next spring.

If - and that is a fairly large if - this happens it may be the first time the Gospel has been publicly preached in the nation since 1945.
Late Korean dictator Kim Il Sung is widely acknowledged to have presided over perhaps the most thorough cleansing of Christianity from with a nation in the 20th Centruy.

I must admit, my initial reaction was one more of confusion than excitement.
There are plenty of interesting thoughts out there to look at on the web, but for what it's worth here are my 2 cents.

Unfortunately, and I hope he is prepared for this, Warren is cooperating with N Korean authorities, and in doing so is dealing with a bunch of ruthlessly skilled manipulators who have carefully honed their craft over many, many years.
This government has bartered for decades using millions of citizens (malnouished and starving), and nuclear technology as chips in a game useful only to prop up their own grip on power.

On the face of it, using words like "manipulators" may seem harsh, but the fact is that this is a society that has not been established on traditional western Judeo-Chritian ethics.
Truth is not considered a desirable trait, rather one of weakness.
Therefore, many levels of society do not operate within the same perameters that ours does. Sometimes to the extreme.

And so my first and main question is: "What on earth does the N Korean government stand to gain from inviting Warren to do this?"
Is it any coincidence that this invitation happens to coincide with rising nuclear tensions and an increasing urgency to see recent US economic sanctions lifted?
Me thinky so.

When I was there myself, there were only 2 official churches in the country - one has since been demolished.
The church that I regularly visited consisted of about 40 OAPs, of which nobody was really sure how free their choice was to attend.
Freedom of Religion status brings with it large potential aid donations from several international sources, of that there is no doubt the government has been eager to project it's own brand of "freedom".

My other thought is this: Is the government using Warren as some sort of trick in worming out any potentially hidden Christians/Soon to be prison camp labourers?
It's no secret that the NK Government routinely tops persection watchlists with ease - whisking a new batch of potential threats to the regime off to secluded spots in the northeast would not take a great deal of organising, of that I am of no doubt.

Which, all being said, leads me to this cynical state of mind - is this actually a good thing?

When asked if Warren was worried whether he was being used, he replied: "I know they're going to use me, so I'm going to use them."

I truly hope he's not walking in his own strength.

downtown.

2006-07-28T22:04:00.000Z

The rise of the buildings.

Watch those mossies

2006-07-27T18:20:00.000Z

The Nexia team sample their first taste of mosquito infestation at The 60th Parallel.
(Cross posted at Nexia blog).

Timmy's

2006-07-23T18:16:00.000Z

Well, here I am sitting in one of the most audacious temples ever dedicated to consumerism - West Edmonton Mall.
And I am bored out of my crust.

We drove here from Yellowknife through the day, bypassing our original stop at Peace River.
Arriving in Edmonton late last night, we received quite a shock to find out the there was some sort of Grande Prix going on here, and that all of the rooms in the city were booked out.

Thankfully, Randy managed to hustle us a couple of rooms for the night to lay our weary heads, and with a few goodbyes this morning I have parted ways with my team.
Paul and Stu are tying things up in Yellowknife, I'm here in Edmonton and Randy, Nam-Su and Luc are winging their way back to Vancouver as I write this.

Over the course of this two week road trip, I have covered approximately 7,500 kms, consumed around 30 cups of coffee, stayed in 6 different locations and experienced 3 sugar highs. Maybe 3.5

I have also observed that possibly the only time and place that Canadians resemble any semblance of "Jerk-ism" or "all-out-bitchage" appears to be in the lineup for Tim Horton's.
And that's all I will say.

I got served.

2006-07-17T08:31:00.000Z

Well, the sun didnt set till about 1am today.
It's almost 2am now, I think. It'll be back in a couple of hours.
It leaves you with a heavy and impending sense of jetlag. Which according to Randy, doesnt exist.
To help me while away the night-hours, I popped in a couple of videos this evening.

I watched "You got served!", and "Barbershop" with Queen Latifah.

"You got served!" has, without a doubt, set the bar for worst film ever commited to tape within my movie-watching paradigm.

whitehorse

2006-07-14T04:33:00.000Z

Made it.

Not much time to post, but 3 day drive, in Whitehorse, incredible scenery, great people, missing vancouver.

Check nexia blog for team-y updates.

laters potaters.

laters

2006-07-10T01:17:00.000Z

Taken in Vancover a couple of weeks ago.

Well, I think this will be my last post for a while. Possibly, although you never know.

So we leave for Prince Gerorge, then Fort Nelson and onto Whitehorse for our first destination stop.
After a few days it'll be back to Fort Nelson, over to Hi Level and then up to Yellowknife for stop no.2. I'm hoping to persevere and complete the tour with Iqaluit, although getting airline seats has proved quite difficult.

If you're wondering how we're doing - well, I can only speak to myself. As of now, I have a myriad of applications in process. Long distance phone calls to make. Luggage to pack, and belongings to store. I spent the best part of half a morning packed into Souvlaki's like a sardine to watch the world cup final. Great game, too. But now I'm paying for it as I feel like an old lady.

I did manage to go out and get a travel towel.
But I forgot to get mosquito stuff.

I can only say I look forward to God meeting me halfway on this.
Cause I dont know what the heck I am doing.
And I just seemed to have developed a toothache and weird mouth ulcers.
Yet life goes on.
And I realise how bloomin fortunate I am.

Laters potaters.

fisheye 2.0

2006-07-08T16:22:00.000Z

A while back I won a little photo competition; the prize was a new Fisheye 2 camera with a selection of film. I think the shots will be used to promote the new camera - pretty fun.

Well today the little fella finally decided to show up - just in the nick of time. Although I'm a complete beginner, I've really enjoyed experimenting with photography and what not. Looking forward to seeing what this camera can do.

not again.

2006-07-07T15:40:00.000Z

Taken from BBC news.

You may or may not have seen a lot of recent reports on N Korea in the news recently.
North Korea has recently test fired a range of missiles, some of which may or may not be capable of hitting the N American peripherary.
Perhaps more alarming however, is South Korea's reaction to the missile test - they have decided to suspend food aid and fertiliser donations.

South Korea is the single largest donor towards the North, providing it with huge quantities of food and aid every year.
Last year North Korea decided to remove all western NGO organisations that monitored aid and depend more heavily on Asian/S Korean donations.

This time of year, most of the population is gearing up for rice planting season - a critical time of year that will bear heavily on harvest results for the coming year. There's little doubt that aid restrictions will bring any significant impact upon the Government party cadres, but possible impact upon the general population could be devastating.

The one positive in the whole situation is that missile mess is bringing more and more attention to the plight of the starved and forgotten population.
But for how much longer will this drag on?

Canadian yonder

2006-07-06T21:39:00.000Z

Come monday I'll be jumping into another vehicle and heading up North into Canadian yonder.
Updates to come, I suppose.
At this stage, I've been too busy to contemplate another mamoth road trip. There's still a wedding to do in between.
The picture was taken on my last road trip somewhere in the Albertan tundra.

hmmmn

2006-07-05T16:33:00.000Z

It's seems as though it has been a long and exhausting week, although I must say I have enjoyed the movements.
The devastation of the England result has finally subsided, and I am comforted in my sorrows by seeing Germany go out as well.
We were playing a 10 man England against 11 Portugese and the ref - what were we to do? I thought we played our best football of the tournament, and Hargreaves nad Ashley Cole in particular were fantastic.

I also moved again on saturday, and after helping my roomates and Nick and Ryan move their stuff, we ended the night climbing onto the roof of the new place sipping wine into the sunset as the view of downtown Vancouver caressed our senses. That was a weird sentence.

North Korea also fired 7 missiles yesterday; it's almost heartbreaking to consider the government scraping together the meagre resources available and ploughing them into missile technology. Enough to make my blood boil.

watching you

2006-06-26T06:04:00.000Z

A product of the guerrilerised camera I mentioned a while ago.

we're through

2006-06-25T19:06:00.000Z

Well, we're through.
We got the result, although another less than scintilating performannce was yet again delivered to millions of supportive Englishmen and women.
we're in the quaters, although I can't see us going far playing like that.

Tactical analysis:
Rooney can't play upfont on his own. He's obviously a brilliant player, but that's not his game. Time for Walcott. Why Svennis hasn't played him earlier in less significant group games is mind-boggling.

Joe Cole has been all around our best player so far, although he had a quiet game today. My vote goes to Ashley Cole; really stepped up for the first time in this turnament.

He scored today, but Beckham's overall contributions have been pitiful. Aaron Lennon came on with 10 miutes left and looked 10 times the player.

Hargreaves at right back? Why?
Carrick? Not sure.

Lampard and Gerrard's contributions have been less than acceptable.

My favoured team for the quaters: Robinson; Neville, Terry, Ferdinand, A Cole; Lennon, Hargreaves, Gerrard, J Cole; Walcott, Rooney.

On the brightside we only have to win 3 games to bring the World Cup home. That's a big only.

the flats

2006-06-21T18:47:00.000Z

I saw this building and I had to snap it.
Reminded me of home almost instantly.

Enger-land

2006-06-21T18:34:00.000Z

Well, we're through.
First half was superb, then all of a sudden second half we started to panic. It's always the same when you're watching England - either its euphoria or absolute anguish.

Joe Cole in particular I thought was stunning again. Easily our player of the tournament, and he hit an absolute belter yesterday.
Ecuador in the next round, and then ze germans most likely after that.

Hopefully we'll have found some kind of form by then.

Get this podcast. Now.

2006-06-18T16:07:00.000Z

It's been a little static here recently, but that'll all change soon enough.
Just been a little busy, but I won't enjoy expounding on the boring details suffice to say I will endeavour to commit more interesting [or not?] mutterings to the blogger server in the coming weeks.

Last night I spent time guerillarising one of my cameras, so I hope to be bringing some interesting shots this way in the near future.
Perhaps when the sun decides to hang around long enough for us to... nevermind.

I found the best World Cup podcast the other night.
So good I had to listen to all of the first 5 episodes in consecutive order straight away. It had me weezing into the small hours, I can tell you.

World Cup = Metricsystem

2006-06-13T00:25:00.000Z

Stephen Colbert is funny.
I'm a lazy blogger, but I found this great clip where he sarcastically asserts that Americans should "...reject The World Cup like the metricsystem!".
It was fun watching Australia score their first World Cup goals this morning; Rosicky and the Czechs look pretty handy, too.

I shall begin to critique the action shortly, but for now a moment of levtiy.

World Cup 2006

2006-06-10T04:45:00.000Z

England vs Paraguay
Saturday June 10th 2006
K.O. 2pm GMT

COME ON ENGLAND

domo arrigatto mr roboto (crouchy, that is)

2006-06-01T00:37:00.000Z

Peter Crouch scored for us against Hungary on wednesday.
I was watching at Cafe Napoli with some old Italian blokes and we had a right laugh when he treated us to the robot dance for his goal celebration.

By the way, how good is Joe Cole?!!

Can't wait for The World Cup.

message for mr roh

2006-05-31T21:33:00.000Z

"LiNK is amassing a giant collection of "messages to the president" which we shall put on a banner to be delivered to South Korean President Roh Moo-hyun to show him that the people of Korea and the world are watching how he deals with the North Korean human rights crisis.

Here's how it works:
1) write a message to President Roh about North Korea on a piece of paper. Write in Korean, English, Chinese, Swahili...the language doesn't matter, it's the message!
2) Take a picture of you holding the message. You can cover your eyes, mouth, or even your whole face, whatever you prefer.

3) Send the picture to korea@linkglobal.org
4) Pat yourself on the back for making a difference."

LiNK stands for: Liberty in North Korea, and more information on them can be found here.
For the record, President Roh has a pretty miserable record of directly addressing human rights abuses of the Korean citizens living north of the DMZ.

the kids

2006-05-29T05:53:00.000Z

A South Korean newscast on the hidden children outside of the city in North Korea.

remnants of communism II

2006-05-23T05:56:00.000Z

dangly earrings lady

2006-05-21T03:22:00.000Z

A late evening-ish stop off at the local Safeway's usually supported my habit for last-minute dinner purchases.

Having visited the frozen-foods section twice in as many minutes with no final decision, I instead settle and opt for the less palatable but more financially appealing option in the asian instant noodles section.
Considering my newfound momentary micro-financial muscle (okay, that's last of the alliteration, I promise), I change direction and head for the pastries section inconveniently located at the opposite end of the store.

I am joined in my browsing and perusal of the sickly sweet deep-fried breaded products more commonly referred to in Canada as "breakfast" by an atypical Canadian Housewife (my presumption) distinguishable in the fact that I can recollect no distinguishing features upon her except for the fact that she happened to be wearing really, really dangly earrings - the sort that you can imagine spent the previous generation hanging out in a dusty box somewhere in Value Village.
Or perhaps even living between the cushions of the second-hand couch that serves the staff in the back room at Value Village, and, if by stopping by long enough you would detect the confusing yet pronounced odour of ferrit pee on.
But, no matter, they were dangly.

My body language can barely contain it's indifference as together our eyes scan and evaluate five, six, seven perspex cases looking to locate a tasty apres-din-dins treaty-treat. (what am I on?!)

Finally, I make my decision and reach in to remove the little blighter: essentially a deep-fried croissant dipped in sugar.

"Ooo, they're good those are. Mmmmm, really good."

"Yeah."

"Yeah" is, of all the words in the English Language, the only confabulation that successfully escapes the clutches of my vocal chords.
Mostly I am surprised that dangly earrings lady had managed to penetrate my usually imperceptible late-night body language.

A short silence ensues in which I attempt to disguise the fact that I am a little panicked and really, I was not relaxed and therefore not ready to engage in friendly chitty-chat.

Dangly earrings lady reaches in.

"Don't eat too many of them." I blurt out.

Another short silence embarks.

There is no response from dangly earrings lady.

Aaahhhh, crrrraaaapppppp.

remnants of communism

2006-05-21T01:47:00.000Z

Pyongyang, Korea.

an east end tribute

2006-05-13T03:32:00.000Z

The FA Cup Final
Saturday, 13th May 2006
Cardiff Millenium Stadium

(Considering we 've yet to win anything in my lifetime...)

We're forever blowing bubbles
Pretty bubbles in the air
They fly so high
They nearly reach the sky
But like Liverpool
They fade and die
Fortunes always hiding
I've looked everywhere
We're forever blowing bubbles
Pretty bubbles in the air

UNITED
UNITED
UNITED

COME ON WEST HAM

red, red, red, orange

2006-05-03T04:43:00.000Z

I couldn't believe it.
They were chirping a medley of Beatles hits. In English.
I've often wondered what the girl on the end was thinking about.
Perhaps she was more of a "Rolling Stones" girl.

the hyatt

2006-05-02T02:53:00.000Z

The skies darkened. The sun slipped away.
In Stanley Park the trees shook, bent-double.
As I stood opposite and gazed upwards, I could've sworn that it rocked gently, swaying to and fro.

the city

2006-05-01T17:43:00.000Z

The city cradles it's inhabitants.
It bears them, rears them and puts them up.
Some cities are better parents than others.
If you look hard enough, you will discover the mark of The Almighty.
Personality, Sovereignty & Majesty.
I love the city.

disclaimer

2006-04-22T19:18:00.000Z

To clear any confusion I would like to point out that not all of my posts are auto-biographical thoughts [and feelings]. Most are just writings and musings; others are photos and almost everything has been unpacked from the box.
I have never conciously launched a meal at a chinese lady, or a lady of any ethnicity, for that matter.
Although I should add that if a reinvigorated Mao Zedong happens to cross my path, I would be tempted to thrown an egg mcmuffin at him.

Old Chinese Lady

2006-04-21T06:03:00.000Z

As tuesday mornings usually dictated, I approach the cross section of Commercial and 10th at 11:28am almost to the dot.
Accompanied by my regular purchase of two sausage rolls and and one single roll of toilet paper (double quilted - no dimples), I continue to munch on my weekly Vietnamese Coconut Bun like the habitual creature that I am.

Approaching the same crosswalk, an elderly Chinese woman shuffles across.
She's hunched over slightly, bearing a "Sav-On" plastic carrier bag full of empty recyclable bottles. As I advance towards her side, she nervously begins to punch the crosswalk button; jittery jabs promptly advance head-on into a cascade of metacarpal fury unleashed upon the poor, inanimate crosswalk button.
"My goodness." I remember thinking.
"If the light doesn't change soon, she might draw blood."

Still green.

There is no let up in Old Chinese lady's light-changing doctrine. I am also aware that I have become mildly irritated by this exercise in futility. "Has she left the oven on?!" I ruminate.
"Perhaps a bad case of diarrhea?"
Even quasi-humurous mental images of Oldlady Diiarrhea fail to allieviate the awkward and inappropriate pedestrian-tension that has been built up.

Pedestrian-tension will only ever remain an awkward emotion; it commonly manifests itself in some sort of tourist-meets-frustrated-resident incident, usually in a large metropolitan city.
After what seems like an eternity, the light changes from green, to amber, to red.

Old Chinese lady carefully shuffles from the curb onto the crosswalk, and proceeds to saunter across the road and down the street as if a sun starved Scandanavian were out soaking in the first day of summer.

In that moment, I recall my deep, intense regret. I wished I hadn't.

I wished I hadn't thrown my sausage rolls at her.

weary

2006-04-19T21:51:00.000Z

"I am weary."

deepfried bravado

2006-04-18T22:34:00.000Z

Complete instructions and details on our testosterone-fuelled deepfried-debauchery is now available here.

Good Friday

2006-04-15T01:16:00.000Z

My Father, My Cradle, My Glorious.
My Friend.
Thank You.

Maundy Thursday

2006-04-13T23:15:00.000Z

Tomorrow is Good Friday.
Which I suppose makes today Maundy Thursday. I just found out for the first time what that means.
Apparently, Maundy is derived from the word "Mandatum" - or mandate - which Jesus gave us to love one another.
Traditionally in England, the reiging monarch would wash the feet of the poor on Maundy Thursday. They stopped doing that in the 18th century, although I'm not sure why.

pt II

2006-04-12T20:07:00.000Z

pt I

2006-04-12T00:34:00.000Z

nk prayer

2006-04-09T07:08:00.000Z

21 days of breathrough have begun.

epiphanc at the lamplighter

2006-04-07T18:58:00.000Z

Recovering from a cold.
Screaming headache right now.
As for the gig, I believe it went well. At one point I noticed Brian was playing his guitar with a drum cymbal, and Tim was standing on his drumkit.
I broke the heaviest string on my guitar halfway through the set.
Lost all the tension on the bridge and spent half a song retuning the guitar and tring to figure out how to play the drop D songs on an A string.
We left the Lamplighter after 2am, to drop our gear off.
So what do you do after a great gig at 3am? That's right, go for Chinese food. And drag your smelly rotten tired corpse to bed.
Oh, and how can I forget Nick our wonderful stage prop? When was the last time you saw a band that had a man dressed in a 70s disco suit reading a newspaper oblivious to the chaos surrounding him?

heh, heh

2006-04-03T01:45:00.000Z

Been gone for a while. Thought I'd come back with something stupid.
I've been fortunate enough to have travelled all East Asian countries, and have encountered my fair share of "engrish".
Of all them, South Korea certainly commanded the most accurate of English translations, although the packaging above is has gained something extra in comedic value.

epiphanic, april 5th

2006-03-25T23:30:00.000Z

April 5th; come on down and support epiphanic.

Free Expression

2006-03-23T18:16:00.000Z

March for freedom of expression and anti-Islamaphobia; London Mar 25th 2:00pm Trafalgar Square.

a sad picture

2006-03-21T07:05:00.000Z

Peace Be Upon Humanity.

into the semis

2006-03-21T01:47:00.000Z

First of all allow me to bask in the glory of being a lifelong West Ham Utd fan - today we reached the semis of the FA Cup for the first time in 15 years!
This is the most success I have ever witness my team achieve - they haven't actually won anything in my lifetime, and have won only 4 trophys in 110 years of competing.
Yes, we really are that crap.
Secondly, a couple of prayer focuses I wrote have been published in this years' MA magazine.
What does that mean? It means that this summer thousands of kids all over N America and elsewhere will be praying for Vancouver and NK. Brilliant.

the gulag archipelago

2006-03-18T20:14:00.000Z

"And I sat there and thought: If the first tiny droplet of truth has exploded like a psychological bomb, what then will happen in our country when the waterfalls of Truth burst forth?
And they will burst forth, it has to happen."

I just started this book. I figured that if anyone commited thoughts on freedom to paper that were deemed so dangerous they were made illegal, it was worth taking a look.

the [canadian] westbank

2006-03-16T20:08:00.000Z

We have completed our minitour; it's been amazing to see how everyone has responded to invitation to join us in seeking God as to what He wants to do with the last leg of The Wake.
We shared this morning in the okanagan, and again more encouragement.
We'll hang around here and then shoot off to Vancouver (4hr drive) after luncheroonie.
Chou for now.

the calgary

2006-03-16T04:39:00.000Z

Arrived in McKenzie Alberta (actually a distant suburb/city a half hour drive from Calgary) at 7:30am this morning.
Set up and shared with the ministry there in Russel's basement... very different setup.
Again, more prayers, more confirmation - we will be posting what happend/photos on our nexia blog in the coming days.
Drove back through the beautiful Canadain Rockies today - currently holed up in Kelowna BC. We'll be sharing in Westbank tomorrow morning. eek.

the valley

2006-03-15T04:38:00.000Z

We just "did" Turner Valley; fantastic participation and prayers, great hospitality.
Staying in what appears to be a small abandoned hospital.
We share after intercession times the things that God spoke to us at other locations and other prayer times with Canadian ywamers, same things keep coming up. Really affirming.
Still quiet.
Still cold.
Calgary tomorrow at 8am.

the hat

2006-03-14T16:40:00.000Z

We did medicine hat last night - went really well, people were interested and prayed with us.
We are out in the middle of nowhere, though. Really.
Their front path takes 45mins to drive down.
45 mins. I mean what do you do if you want to nip out for a twix at night?
It'll cost you $5 in petrol alone.
Its quiet, now.
Veerry quiet.
And cold.

the north

2006-03-12T05:17:00.000Z

Recently I've been busier than a one legged man at an arse kicking convention. The reason? I am helping to plan an outreach to The North.
In England, going to the north means purchasing a couple of heavy duty padlocks and braving the M6.
In Canada it's a 3 day drive that can only be accomplished at certains times of the year (once you've fended off Grizzly Bears, Giant Moose and Rabid Beavers). And don't forget the Lumberjacks. I'm a Lumberjack and I'm okay...
Off tomorrow on a whistlestop Alberta/BC trip - this is the final piece in the jigsaw that is and has been The Wake Tour.
I just remembered I forgot to do a couple of [important] things. However in the words of Blackadder, I have a plan so cunning, you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel.

gwenyth and a pair of ronnies

2006-03-10T22:37:00.000Z

Apparently Gwyneth Paltrow watches - and enjoys - The Two Ronnies reruns on BBC. That officially makes her 97% British already.
I think that just leaves French and Saunders and Terry and June.
Come on Madonna, what you got?

the couve

2006-03-08T00:50:00.000Z

my desk

2006-03-07T03:42:00.000Z

mountains city water

2006-03-05T23:53:00.000Z

memories...

2006-03-05T06:27:00.000Z

"I'm not going to ask you again, give me your dinner money. Now."

My eyes peered out from within the defensive shell I had created for myself.
Billy's raised and waivering fist occasionally offered a snapshot in solace by blocking the stinging summer light offered by a an oft absent London sun.

"Where is it?! Come on!"
Another plume of spittle is rejected by Billy's wobbling and frothing embouchement.
I couldn't afford to give Billy my parent's hard earned cash again. Mum would kill me, and Dad was constantly berating me for not standing up for myself.

"Billy!" I pleaded.
"Please don't do this!"

"Don't make me stick your face in the toilet again... I'll do it... I'll do it..."
Billy upped his menacing grin.

"Oi, you two!" Bellowed Amanda.
"Get your arses inside. Your both late for your shifts - again."
Our standoff is thankfully interupted, and I am provided with another short-lived repreive.

Amanda our shift manager and general store hard-woman stood abreast of the front doors and continued to administer a more than healthy dose of the female-death-stare.

"Billy stop picking on him, and you - stand up for yourself."
"Honestly, for two grown men..."

morning calm

2006-03-01T20:49:00.000Z

Kodak 100 asa; Kelowna BC.